NFL Mock Draft Haikus

By Spencer Bowen

I’ll never top the Hamildraft. But here are some soothing haikus to help you through what promises to be a very unpredictable first round.

Browns: Myles Garrett

If you have the chance

To draft young DeMarcus Ware

You shouldn’t miss it


49ers: Jamal Adams

A boatload of needs

We will be bad for awhile

So let’s play it safe


Bears: Jonathan Allen

Vic Fangio loves

Massive versatile linemen

Recall: Justin Smith


Jaguars: Christian McCaffrey


Christian attended Stanford

But he is legit


Titans: Marshon Lattimore

Lack of cornerbacks

Makes me second guess myself

Is this too easy?


TRADE Browns w/ Jets: Mitchell Trubisky

Cleveland reaches

But they have 784

Picks, I’ll let it slide


Chargers: Solomon Thomas

Joey Bosa Jo

Ey Bosa Joey Bosa

Joey Bosa Jo


Panthers: Leonard Fournette

Are we sure that Len

Is not an actual, real-

life Decepticon?


Bengals: Reuben Foster


Reuben is a nice

sandwich and also a nice

middle linebacker


Bills: O.J. Howard

Bills hope that O.J.

Helps them squeeze a little bit

more offensive juice

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