Fantasy Football Archetypes

By Spencer Bowen

Every league is different. But every league is also pretty much the same. Here’s a rundown of some tried and true fantasy teams varieties that you’ve surely encountered this season.


 

The Add / Drop King

An owner with absolutely zero loyalty to their players. This person is committed to one principle and one principle only: last week’s results. You log onto your league homepage, check out the team activity, and this joker has dropped and added four players in the last 16 minutes. And does the same every week. This team has cycled through half of all NFL players and probably added Randy Moss just in case.

 

The Outta-Steamer

This league member is knowledgeable, plays well enough to be competitive, starts something like 5-3, and then they start a QB on injured reserve… three weeks in a row. They ran out of team management steam. Now, this is a very great team for you to play and a very not great team for a league rival to play.

 

The “This is Jameis’ Year!” Person

The Bucs offense is brimming with talent around the former crab leg-stealing Heisman winner. Playing in warm weather with a handpicked head coach and throwing to DeSean Jackson and Mike Evans sounds like a recipe for fantasy success, yes? Actually, no. Winston has been terrible 85% of the time and now sports only one working shoulder. Not the same but related: the person who thought this was Mariota’s year. Is Mariota in danger of becoming The Nice Guy™ we draft because he’s sooo great as a person but only hypothetically good at football? Have you watched the Titans? How is that team 8-4?

 

The Hardhead

This team presents a lot of trades that are in no way fair. When you counter with an offer that is closer to reasonable, they immediately shut it down. Four days later, they offer you Matthew Stafford in return for A.J. Green and LeVeon Bell. HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?

 

The Team with Antonio Brown

No other qualities really matter. Brown is an absolute fantasy monster and in retrospect probably should’ve been one of the top 2 players chosen in every single league. This team is annoying, but there’s nothing you can do about their unstoppable march to the playoffs.

 

The “I’ve Revolutionized Fantasy” Team

The team that drafts 4 QBs in the first 5 picks in order to build “trade assets” and then is stuck with FOUR QUARTERBACKS and is forced to start Pierre Garcon as their number 1 receiver. Or the team that drafts two defenses before the end of Round 4 and entirely forgets about the tight end position, content to pick up Vernon Davis on the waiver wire. Or the team that drafts a whole real life team together for that sweet, sweet boom or bust rush (think drafting Matt Ryan, Tevin Coleman, and Julio Jones) and then starts Tom Savage at QB on Atlanta’s bye week. Or ESPECIALLY the team who waits on a QB (a reasonable strategy)… all the way until the last round (not a reasonable move) and proceeds to play Brock Osweiler as some point in the season. None of these strategies ever work, but damn are they fun to watch from afar.

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