Rant Wheel #1

By Spencer Bowen Inspired by the unstoppable Crooked Media conglomerate, I’ve decided that a few tasteful rage outbursts might help me get through these troubled times. Welcome to the first (and maybe last?) Antland Rant Wheel. Tom Brady Tom Brady is 40 freaking years old and remains the best NFL quarterback without a broken clavicle….

No Pack No

By Derek Nelson Earlier today, the pride of Cal Berkeley (GRAHH) noted that the Jaguars could be the solution to Niner fans’ woes. I am inclined to agree; teal is a great color, their owner looks like Ron Jeremy with a better mustache, and Blake Bortles is kinda sorta okay at football (see the sabermetrics…

Go… Jags?

By Spencer Bowen The Jacksonville Jaguars, quarterbacked by a man who will likely found a moderately successful chicken and biscuit chain someday, can do no wrong. Once you get over how weird it feels to say “the Jags can do no wrong,” consider this: They’ve… made great draft picks recently? With the exception of the…

Suspend Cam Newton

By Spencer Bowen   Cam Newton, statuesque quarterback of the Carolina Panthers, officially sucks. I’ll quote from SI.com: Jourdan Rodrigue, a Panthers beat reporter for The Charlotte Observer, asked Newton a perfectly reasonable question about Devin Funchess’s physical style of running routes.  Newton started chuckling to himself before she was finished with her question. He then…

Mark’s Marshawn Problem

By Spencer Bowen I’m ecstatic that East Bay native and former Cal Bear Marshawn Lynch pulled a Brett Favre and unretired to join his hometown Raiders. Community-wise, it’s great. Marshawn really, really loves his “town bidness” and constantly invests time and money and turkeys into Oakland. Football-wise, it’s great. Marshawn fills a power back hole…

It’s Not Okay

By: Tyler Chuck and Spencer Bowen Famous people live their lives in the public eye.  Their actions can be seen on television, are reported in the media, and discussed vigorously.  The spotlight is great when famous people are role models like Stephen Curry, Bono, or Emma Watson, yet not all public figures are outstanding citizens….

NFL Mock Draft Haikus

By Spencer Bowen I’ll never top the Hamildraft. But here are some soothing haikus to help you through what promises to be a very unpredictable first round. Browns: Myles Garrett If you have the chance To draft young DeMarcus Ware You shouldn’t miss it   49ers: Jamal Adams A boatload of needs We will be bad…

Don’t Blame Libby

By: Tyler Chuck Today is a sad day for the City of Oakland.  With the news that the Oakland Raiders will relocate to Las Vegas after a near unanimous 31-1 vote (thanks to Miami for holding out), the East Bay is in a state of shocked finality.  The saga is over.  The Raiders are leaving….

Roundtable Discussion on John Lynch & Kyle Shanahan

First things first.  Please marvel at Leah Lynch’s comments, dictated through her father: “They were shocked but they took it really well. My 9-year-old started bawlin’ and she’s not that girl. She’s the one that was always happy, and she was crying, and I said, ‘What’s wrong Leah? Is there some nervous anxiety about moving?’…

NFL QBs meet Lord of the Rings

By Spencer Bowen The most intriguing NFL conference championship weekend in many moons owes a lot to the four quarterbacks at play tomorrow afternoon. All four are firmly in the “you don’t want to play them” category for their own reasons. It could be an epic weekend, so what better way to analyze the four remaining QBs with a…

May The “4ce” be With Him

By: Tyler Chuck The pain.  The agony.  The silence.  We all saw Derek Carr’s broken fibula, ending his 2016 season.  When it happened, you realized that it couldn’t have happened to a better guy, a better story, or a player you were more excited to see in the playoffs.  Yet somehow, Derek has maintained a…

The Sports Connection: Kap

By Spencer Bowen As I watched Blaine Gabbert check down to a four yard completion on 3rd and 8 this afternoon, my mind started to wander to his excellently-coiffed backup. Colin Kaepernick remains one of football’s most recognizable names. Kap is now a national figure for what some might call reasons entirely distinct from sports….